No Control

I have this thing where I don't like not having control. Which manifests itself in weird ways in most areas, since I also don't like making decisions that involve more than just me. But when it comes to moving, be it in a vehicle or not, I like to be in control of how darn fast I go.

NEEDLESS TO SAY I am a bit apprehensive about this lesson coming up. I've already established that I can get up on the horse without falling off. And that I can get off even if I don't think my ankles work anymore.

But it's okay! Because I found something new to fret about, and that is lunging! Instructor-man was like "blah blah blah on the lunge line next time so you can work on balance instead of steering blah blah blah".

Oh my god I am going to die. D: D: D: I mean, I'm confident that I'm going to fall off or do something stupid and fall off or, I don't know. THERE WILL BE TROTTING. I AM NOT BUILT FOR TROTTING. I either jounce like a... a something that jounces all over the place wildly out of control, or I post for two whole steps before my legs go "lol NO" and give out.

THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA.